On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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