Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
