i jhust puked up my retainher.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
