the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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