The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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