And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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