Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize