Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He? As in you personified your dick?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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