honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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