I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize