even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
