my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
