FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
