Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
