I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You need Xanax blowdarts
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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