ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
