im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
