We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize