The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
