porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
