Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
