A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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