I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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