I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
