My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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