the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
