You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
