the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
