I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
