I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
