how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
only you would photoshop your dick
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just found a bag of teeth...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
