ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
