They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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