he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
