So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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