You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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