i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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