During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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