After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
