There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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