Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize