That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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