I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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