yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
