Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
