Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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