Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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