It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
