There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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