Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
