how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
