I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
