Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
