butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He? As in you personified your dick?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
