got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
