the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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