I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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