You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
