i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
