He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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