He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
