i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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