i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
