I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
