some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
