Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
