What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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