I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Slut skills are useful in every country.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Randomize
