Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize