Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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