is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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