She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
